We\u2019re all in this together – I get that. We\u2019re all on our own personal rollercoasters at the moment, and none of us are alone. I\u2019m riding it with Anxiety and Depression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There isn\u2019t much to get excited about during lockdown. Amazon deliveries have really been my highlight. I\u2019m not great at staying in touch with people at the best of times, but it\u2019s even harder now that nobody can leave the house to do anything. So there\u2019s nothing to talk about, nothing to ask about. It all feels a bit bleak and pointless right now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As a Mental Health First Aider, I feel well-equipped to deal with the changes we\u2019ve all had thrown at us. But it\u2019s tiring. It\u2019s tiring trying to stay positive. It\u2019s tiring trying to look for the good in the situation. It\u2019s tiring trying to hold it all together. It\u2019s tiring trying to remain motivated and productive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The thing that really gets to me is not knowing how long this is going to last. So there\u2019s no date that I can focus on, look forward to and think \u201cAh…that\u2019s the day I can visit my family \/ go to the pub with my friends\u201d etc\u2026 And yes, I understand that these are \u2018first world problems\u2019, but it\u2019s all relative. These concerns are valid. This is the bubble I live in, these are the issues that concern me, these are the things that have my head working in overdrive. Anyone with Anxiety knows how difficult a change to routine can be and how scary the unknown is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My head wasn\u2019t the most rational of places before this kicked off. But I\u2019d found balance. I enjoy my job, I took up some hobbies – I was even going to night classes! I was doing voluntary work, I was mentoring. I felt like I was getting on top of life and taking control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m very well aware of the fact that there are many, many people who have it much worse than I do, and I really feel for them. I hope you\u2019re all looking after yourselves, and doing whatever you need to do to get through the day. For the sake of self-preservation, I\u2019ve decided to focus on myself a bit more. I wouldn\u2019t normally have such a moan about things, because I\u2019m conscious of it sounding like a self-indulgent \u201cwoe is me\u201d type whinge. But equally I encourage people to speak out about what\u2019s troubling them, so I\u2019m taking my own advice for a change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m sure there will be many positives to come from this period of lockdown – saving lives being the obvious one! But being in lockdown with mental health issues, it can be difficult to see beyond what\u2019s going on in your own head. It\u2019s not a fun place to be trapped with your thoughts without the distraction of \u201cnormal\u201d everyday life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So for now, instead of thinking about all the things I miss, I\u2019m trying to be more positive and think about them as \u201cthings I\u2019m looking forward to doing\u201d. Hugging people! Seeing my family and friends. Flapping their dogs ears! Being back in the office. Going to the pub after work. Holidays can wait. Everything I need is right here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Stay safe everyone. Physically and mentally. Don\u2019t bottle things up. If you need help – ask for it! You deserve it. If you feel like you have nobody you can talk to, you can contact the Samaritans on 116 123. Remember that you have everything to look forward to. Lockdown will be over one day, and we\u2019ll all be reunited. And before long we\u2019ll remember all the things that annoyed us about life pre-lockdown, and we\u2019ll be rolling our eyes and muttering under our breath at people not looking where they\u2019re walking. Just like the good old days!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Until then, look after yourselves, and look after each other. We\u2019ll get through this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
See you on the other side!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Debi :)<\/p>\n\n\n\n