In the age of instant reactions and public accountability, “calling out” has become a familiar tool in the workplace. Someone says something questionable, and we respond – often publicly – with a correction, a critique, or a clapback. While this can feel righteous, it can also feel like a public attack, and not consistent with the psychologically safe space we work hard at creating and maintaining.

But what if there’s a better way? One that invites growth instead of shame, dialogue instead of defensiveness?

Welcome to the art of “calling in.”

What Is “Calling In”?

Calling in is the practice of addressing problematic behavior or language through private, respectful conversation. It’s not about avoiding hard truths – it’s about delivering them in a way that encourages reflection, not retaliation.

Instead of saying, “That was inappropriate,” we might say, “Hey, I wanted to check in about something you said earlier – can we talk?”

Instead of a public reprimand, we offer a quiet moment of connection.

It’s grown-up. It’s generous. And it’s surprisingly effective.

Why It Works – Especially for Inclusive Teams

Calling in creates psychological safety. It reduces the threat response that often comes with public correction, especially for neurodivergent team members who may already be navigating sensory overload, executive function challenges, or social anxiety.

It also models emotional maturity. Leaders who call in demonstrate that accountability doesn’t have to come with humiliation. That feedback can be firm and kind. That we can be wrong – and still be worthy.

In short: it builds trust.

Practical Tips for Leaders

Here’s how to make “calling in” a cultural norm:

• Choose the right moment. Don’t wait too long, but don’t pounce either. A calm follow-up after the meeting often works best.
• Use curiosity, not accusation. “Can you walk me through what you meant?” opens more doors than “That was out of line.”
• Keep it private. DM, email, or a quick 1:1 chat. Public correction should be reserved for urgent harm or repeated patterns.
• Focus on impact, not intent. Help the person understand how their words or actions landed, without assuming malice.
• Offer a path forward. “Here’s how we might approach this differently next time” is more useful than “Don’t do that again.”

When “Calling Out” Is Still Necessary

Let’s be clear: calling in isn’t a free pass for harmful behaviour. Sometimes, public accountability is essential – especially when power dynamics are at play or harm is ongoing.

But for the everyday missteps, the awkward phrasing, the unconscious bias – calling in gives us a chance to educate, not escalate.

The Leadership Challenge

Inclusive leadership isn’t just about policies and pronouns. It’s about how we show up in moments of tension. Do we shame, or do we support? Do we react, or do we reflect?

Calling in is a skill. A mindset. A quiet revolution in how we hold each other accountable.

So next time someone slips up, ask yourself:
Do I want to be right – or do I want to be effective?